Shoot me now.
Evangeline
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Thank you Bob!
Again, I thank you! Why you ask? Because you didn't listen to me! I needed you to shoot me! Would you do it? Nooooo! So my life kept going, and I wanted to die every step of the way. We made it though, barely. Finally the little brats, I mean Calista and Draven, aged up to children. They look like their father. Don't laugh, at least he was handsome!
It was then time for the babies birthday, yes it was a busy day! First up was Ella.
And then Flynn.
The last birthday of the night was the best one yet! Ashlynn became a young adult!
I kicked her ass to the curb without a further thought.
Super Mom,
Evangeline
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Dear Bob,
It's been a few days since I've updated. With Ash now not at the house to help, it's a bit more hectic. Hopefully though I can get out soon to start meeting new people, I'm going a bit stir crazy being cooped up here all day and night with a bunch of snot nosed kids. Charissa is kind of a help, she is constantly tired and sleeps a bunch though, I think it's due to her getting up there in age. At least I hope.
I haven't had a lot of time to skill the toddlers yet, and pretty much let them do their own thing while I figure out my next move. Ella loves the blocks table, and plays on that all day long.
Flynn on the other hand, seems to take after Charissa a lot, and loves to sleep. Doesn't even matter where, he just passes out anywhere. Seriously, its not due to my bad parenting! I promise! Plus you can't prove anything anyways!
Draven is a sports freak! He watches it on TV, plays sport video games, and loves the new soccer goal he got for his birthday.
Update soon,
Evangeline
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Woooyahhhhh! Bob!
I made it out! And I met my next "friend"! Meet Aiden O'Connell, of the O'Connell's House. Apparently they are some fancy smacy family here in Dragon Valley. Won't be so fancy when I'm killing him though right? Right!
I was right, the bitch is getting old. I lured her into my basement of doom (as you can see, my stupid ass forgot to take out the bathrooms though) and before I could lock her away in her cell, she had her birthday! Great now I'll have old fart on my wall of kills! Ruins my streak!
I hate old people, they smell.
Evangeline
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Dear Bob,
I couldn't kill her yet anyways, even if I wanted too. The bimbo hasn't caught me cheating yet. I'm actually starting to get into this kill thing, in case you hadn't figured that out yet. Beats growing old and crusty with the same partner now doesn't it! On another note, Braxton now thinks he's a robot! I think I am really screwing up this parent thing. Maybe I should take my mother up on that offer to let the older ones move in with her. Poor boy is so delusional, one day he's totally scared of technology, and the next he's a fricking robot!
I did manage one monumental task this update! Ella was potty trained! I need a poop be gone spell, I think that would help a lot in this house. Mind you, Flynn is still passing out around the house, so I haven't even touched his skills yet.
Booting down,
Evangeline
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Bobberooonie!
Ahhh at last, the beautiful sounds of betrayal. Stinky old witch needed a good jolt, she just was blinder than a deer in headlights. Ugh, well its finally over, I can lock her away and throw away the key now.
Braxton aged up outside near the trash. I think he was taking it out, but don't quote me on that, I have found that my children love to dig through the trash a lot. You'd think I don't feed them or something!
Aiden's a doof, that is all.
Peace!
Evangeline
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I need a gun Bob,
Really, do you have one? The old bat won't die! I've tried a few different things with her, and yet she escapes it all. She's really a pest just a pest that needs to be squashed! First I starved her, I now mean right! Hahaha well come on, it's kind of funny! So anyways, first I starved her, then being the wonderful and loving wife I am, I sent her to get a piece of cake! Just not from the fridge.
Woo oh yeah! Down the hatch she went!
But then, all of a sudden she's spit out! She stunk and the cowplant has better taste than that! Are you kidding me? She's food dammit eat her!
This went on for a bit, but he just wasn't going to swallow her, so I tried something else. I knew how hungry she was, so I lured her into the cell with the jelly bean tree and the vending machines. I thought why not, so she ate a few jelly beans. Nothing. Well she turned yellow, but that is it. Nothing else! Off to the vending machine she went, and she started slamming into it. The damn thing must be glued the the floor, it didn't budge!
So she shakes it and shakes it, and wouldn't you know it, she doesn't die! No, instead she gets a candy bar! No, don't eat that! Dammit, she did.
With the candy bar, she wasn't starving, but she was still pretty hungry. I sent her back to the cowplant.
How bad can this woman smell!?
She by this time was about to pass out, I had to do something. So I installed a Murphy's bed while she was in the cow's mouth. Now let see if she can get squished!
I am going to just strangle her, it would be so much easier! Back to the vending machine she went. Nothing happened!
Jelly Bean? Sure eat as much as you want! And she did, and finally we have something!
Crap, the kids are screaming again,
Evangeline
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